Today I am going to let you enter a world of difficulties and failures. One of my longest and most stable relationships has been with a camera. First I got a crush, then I realised I was in love, until finally I thought it was time to divorce this piece of metal, glass and plastic. It wasn’t as dramatic as going to court, but we went through the separation until I appreciated the camera anew. And that’s where I am at now.
I started working as a photographer just before I finished a BA in Sociology. It was a paid job, but after covering taxes and travel expenses, I was left with 40PLN and most importantly (at the time) pride and joy! I was lucky, my work was appreciated, I met my husband, I left Poland and lived in a suitcase, then in Norway and I continued to work as a photographer documenting various performances and festivals. The real first difficulties came when I started to continuously hit a wall. I was underpaid, some artists were treating me like a machine and like I had no rights to my work. That’s when I wanted to get divorced ( with the camera, not with my husband obviously). The truth is that I was fed up with being invisible for the sake of other artists, but they were too egocentric to see that. I abandoned the camera entirely. I decided I am done with art. I’d better look for a new job and a new path. Eventually, it took me 2 years to return to photography.
To sum up my story, the hardest part was to START and make the first move. I feel like years ago I already wanted to have the shop I have now, but I never had the courage and confidence. I try very hard to convince myself that it is important to follow your dreams and visions, to feel good and grow. Difficulties or failures are actually just another opportunities. I know that not everyone will appreciate what I do, that some will leave and others will stay. As long as I don’t harm other people’s lives, I guess I can keep going, right?